Crossroads and Junctures

Recently the pastor at my church talked about ‘junctures’ and ‘crossroads.’  He defined crossroads as a place a person comes to where they have to make a decision. When you reach the crossroads you have to decide if you take Path A or Path B.  He defined a juncture, as an event that you know will change life, as you know it, forever.

I have only experienced a few junctures in my life, graduations, new careers, moving to new states.  Changing careers from the non-profit world, to the for-profit world was a huge experience for me.  I learned the true value of my contributions.  I was able to experience teamwork and collaboration, and the great things that can be accomplished with great resources.  At the same time, my work didn’t have the same sense of purpose.  The passion eroded from my daily life.  But the career move changed my life. I was making a real income.  I was able to buy a home, and save for the future, and take vacations, and buy nice stuff.

For the past 12 or so years, my career has been THE focus of my life.  It has been fun, but I want to the focus into developing a more balanced life.  I would like to fall in love, and have a family, and find the joy in living rather than working again.

The hard part is, I am at a crossroads with my current job.  I love the job.  In terms of the responsibilities and the actual work – it is my dream job.  In terms of the leadership – I hate it.  It is the kind of job where my work is not valued.  It is the kind of job where expectations are unrealistic, and resources are limited. 

Interestingly, I know only too well that a crossroads in my career path, usually becomes a juncture in all the rest of my life.  A change in salary (which is likely in the current market) would mean a dramatic change in lifestyle.  No more travel.  Maybe even no more cable or A/C.   I would have to purchase a car, and pay for all the associated expenses – currently part of my compensation.  A change in employment would also mean that work would become the top of my priority list again.  The learning curve, and my own desire to succeed would ensure that work would again become the focus of my efforts and all those other things that I want in life would fall to the back burner, again.

So, for now, I am choosing to stay the course.   I am sacrificing passion for my work to find passion in my life.  This means I have to figure out how to lower my expectations for my work experience but certainly not my performance.  I will have to prioritize living without risking that which supports the living. It is quite the debacle.  It may require copious amounts of wine and shoulders to lean on, but I know that this is the right thing for right now.

Image credit to tjschloss